The trappings up front are so over the top that to say you watch Spartacus to see a contemporary reworking of a cinema classic is like saying you go to Hooters for the food.
A heady mix of 300-style graphic violence and Debbie Does Rome soft-core porn, Spartacus: Blood and Sand is proof of TV's ever-expanding boundaries and ever-plummeting tastes.
Although some characters share the same names as those in the 1960 Kirk Douglas movie of the same name, this vivid, revealing remake is not for the faint of heart.
Indeed, when the smoke clears from this blood-splattered battle, the survivors will likely stand and sheepishly plead, "I'm not 'Spartacus!' Please, don't confuse me with 'Spartacus!'"
Imagine watching a boring porn movie with swords, sandals, CGI, buckets and buckets of blood, and excessive slow-motion "action" scenes, all while Satan pulls your soul out of your backside. That's Spartacus: Blood and Sand.
