... the movie itself is an inept misfire - the kind of entrancing train wreck that makes you long for a behind-the-scene tell-all to explain what, exactly, went so wrong.
The mystery develops in directions that aren't remotely interesting, leaving the entire movie feeling flat. At least it's beautifully photographed in stunning Norwegian scenery.
Bad storytelling, bad monikers, bland characterisation, by-the-numbers backstory, barely interesting procedural drama: there's an avalanche brewing in The Snowman, and it's of the generic and cliched kind.