In the world of this sitcom love story, men are from Mars and women should be from a defiled menstrual tent far enough away that Adam Sandler won't have to hear them talk about tampons.
To summarise in as few words possible: it is a film, it has people in it, the lighting is adequate and there's a monkey band playing Careless Whisper. Can I go home now and stare into the dark abyss that is my life please?
The romance is sweet and even effervescent, the comedy is homespun and sentimental, but it's packaged with such a repellent batch of stereotypes and prejudices that it's unpalatable even to contemplate.
It seems that miracles do happen in modern cinema. It's warm, funny, tender, serious and ( ... ) decidedly old fashioned. There's no swearing, no pandering to repeated toilet gags and the 'gross-out' market is all but ignored.
Comedians often draw on childhood influences, and Adam Sandler and his team do it in the worst possible way in Blended.. [which] is like a Bizarro version of The Brady Bunch.