I was born in London, and went to school in Scotland - I used to be dead tired when I got home at ni...
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I was born in London, and went to school in Scotland - I used to be dead tired when I got home at night.
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I do play drums when I'm on tour.
I do play drums when I'm on tour.
Well if I was going to describe my audience, it's going to take longer than you'd ever expect, hundr...
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Well if I was going to describe my audience, it's going to take longer than you'd ever expect, hundreds of years in fact, because there's many of them, all over the world.
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I have a folder where I keep all the articles the critics have written about me. It makes me feel go...
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I have a folder where I keep all the articles the critics have written about me. It makes me feel good.
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I had a great day filming Expresso (2007), every minute was worth an hour.
I had a great day filming Expresso (2007), every minute was worth an hour.
I've always had a sense of humour, and I still do, so I just want to go on performing as long as I c...
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I've always had a sense of humour, and I still do, so I just want to go on performing as long as I can. It's as simple as that.
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Of course I've done musicals here in London.
Of course I've done musicals here in London.
I like consistency. If you've had a childhood like mine, you want some things you can rely on to sta...
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I like consistency. If you've had a childhood like mine, you want some things you can rely on to stay the same.
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I still regard myself as a short-arse who's been lucky, although I've worked for it.
I still regard myself as a short-arse who's been lucky, although I've worked for it.
I don't know nothing about communism. But I know the Albanians loved me. Same reason as anyone else ...
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I don't know nothing about communism. But I know the Albanians loved me. Same reason as anyone else loves me. Because I made them laugh.
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All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved.
All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved.
I believe in physical comedy, because that reaches out most to people.
I believe in physical comedy, because that reaches out most to people.
"Mr Grimsdale!" (catch phrase when things went wrong)
"Mr Grimsdale!" (catch phrase when things went wrong)
I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I just enjoy myself doing bits and pieces.
I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I just enjoy myself doing bits and pieces.
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other ...
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As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.
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At my age, the radiation will probably do me good.
At my age, the radiation will probably do me good.
I've done seven shows at the Palladium - long running shows I'm talking about.
I've done seven shows at the Palladium - long running shows I'm talking about.
I must admit I like to muck around a bit; I always have.
I must admit I like to muck around a bit; I always have.
I used to first go on to entertain an audience. But now I go, and this is really true - I go on to h...
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I used to first go on to entertain an audience. But now I go, and this is really true - I go on to have fun with a crowd of my chums.
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In fact, one was so booked out we went from March and were to go till November, but the pantomime wa...
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In fact, one was so booked out we went from March and were to go till November, but the pantomime was booked so they transferred the show to the Prince of Wales Theatre because it was so packed out, and it ran on from there.
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I've an idea for doing a Situation Comedy myself but its always difficult to get people to listen to...
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I've an idea for doing a Situation Comedy myself but its always difficult to get people to listen to you because they like to put their own ideas forward.
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My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if y...
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My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad.
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When you're as famous as I am, stories take on a life of their own.
When you're as famous as I am, stories take on a life of their own.
Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a cradle. Then a hearse. It might h...
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Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a cradle. Then a hearse. It might have been better, but it could have been worse.
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It was absolutely thrilling to meet Laurel and Hardy, they were so nice.
It was absolutely thrilling to meet Laurel and Hardy, they were so nice.
I was in the band as a boy and was taught music and learned to compose.
I was in the band as a boy and was taught music and learned to compose.
My father used to be away for months at a time, and he'd never leave any money for food, so my broth...
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My father used to be away for months at a time, and he'd never leave any money for food, so my brother and I had to go out and nick it.
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It was smashing working with Jerry Desmonde, he was a very nice chap.
It was smashing working with Jerry Desmonde, he was a very nice chap.
I've been making people laugh for 40 years, so I know how important it is!
I've been making people laugh for 40 years, so I know how important it is!
What I like doing most is making children laugh.
What I like doing most is making children laugh.
My only phobia is untidiness. My hair has to be neatly kept; my shoes are always clean. Everything h...
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My only phobia is untidiness. My hair has to be neatly kept; my shoes are always clean. Everything has to be in a straight line, in its place.
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I play drums, clarinet, saxophone, trumpet, french horn, piano.
I play drums, clarinet, saxophone, trumpet, french horn, piano.
I've been extremely lucky having been in the army when I was a boy of fourteen.
I've been extremely lucky having been in the army when I was a boy of fourteen.
I owe everything to the army.
I owe everything to the army.
Years ago, there was a variety theatre in every British town, and people paid to go down and see it....
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Years ago, there was a variety theatre in every British town, and people paid to go down and see it. Comedy was the main part of the theatre, and comedians earned a living by being funny. Now you have comedy in television instead. Comedians now have to be funny within a play.
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But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you work, the luckier you se...
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But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get.
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There are people who like just ordinary comedy fun, and making mistakes - which I do easily - and th...
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There are people who like just ordinary comedy fun, and making mistakes - which I do easily - and then there are people who like the falling over.
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I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry.
I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry.
Don't get me wrong: I'm overjoyed with my career to date. But perhaps I could have done more. Mostly...
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Don't get me wrong: I'm overjoyed with my career to date. But perhaps I could have done more. Mostly, I just did whatever the directors told me to do.
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I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over
I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over
I'm still constantly thinking of ideas. I don't feel 90. I think I'm about 12.
I'm still constantly thinking of ideas. I don't feel 90. I think I'm about 12.
Most of my comedies were low on budgets - certainly by American standards.
Most of my comedies were low on budgets - certainly by American standards.
You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette....
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You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag.
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You see I'm semi-retired now and don't work all the time, only most of it!
You see I'm semi-retired now and don't work all the time, only most of it!
