In New York City, where crime is widespread increasingly and people are yearning the appearance of the heroes. The ninja turtles emerge from the sewers and begin enforcing the justice.
I had to draw on my own ninja training and reflect intensively on the transitory nature of all phenomena, just to fend off the profound yearning for death.
The failure of [the film] is not a result of irreverence towards the original source material, but rather a lack of curiosity and imagination concerning that promising title it's cashing in for name recognition.
It's essentially a Transformers movie - a Michael Bay production complete with mass destruction, urban panic, white-hot lighting, inane quips, product placement, explosions and, well, Megan Fox.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles doesn't so much provide brainless enjoyment as it pummels the viewer into submission. "Shell-shocked" is a reasonable description of the experience.
Michael Bay, using Megan Fox as bait, hit pay dirt with "Transformers." Now they've made a nice amusement park thrill-ride with 2014's 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' re-tread.
It's pretty much business as usual: one personality trait per turtle (with the most screen time for party-dude Michelangelo), lots of wisecracks, plenty of thin-crust product placement (Pizza Hut this time around), and even a last-minute cowabunga.
Turtles fans might have been looking for their own Avengers. They get Alvin and the Chipmunks on performance enhancers and mass-market pizza instead. In Hollywood, history repeats first as farce, then as marketing.
It has hints of heart, and one or two good sequences, but a rent-a-baddie villainy, a poor storyline and paper thin characters leave it floundering in generic action territory.
In one way, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is a triumph for producer Michael Bay in that it is equally as godawful as his Transformers: Age of Extinction and a hit nonetheless.
