When Teresa and 5 other girls leave their New Jersey salon for a typical weekend of sun and sin down the shore the situation takes a bizarre turn leading them and five obnoxious fist-pumpers into the mysterious Pine Barrens to become the unsuspecting targets of a deranged killer.
I felt like I needed to take a shower before I went back inside my house.
Kam Williams
Baret News
August 17, 2014
While the film fails to break any new ground in terms of the splatterflick genre, it's still entertaining enough to recommend, provided you have a strong stomach for vivisection and Italian stereotypes
Distinctly unimaginative in its third act but competently made nonetheless, "Jersey Shore Massacre" should divert viewers under the right circumstances. Otherwise, this is pretty disposable fare.
This irredeemably awful film should only be viewed under threat of grievous bodily harm. And even then, you should give your choice some careful consideration.
Acknowledging Hurricane Sandy, "Jersey Shore Massacre" reminds viewers that it's hardly the worst disaster to hit the region. But it gives the Hindenburg stiff competition.
"Jersey Shore Massacre" doesn't even take place on the Jersey Shore, nor do any of the reality show's stars show up despite Jenni (JWOWW) Farley's prominent billing as an executive producer.
Imagine the cast of MTV's Jersey Shore stuck in a slasher movie - but then remove any bits of entertainment, intelligence or respectful execution you might assume would be present. Who pulled the pin on this grenade?
