Following the lead up to one of the biggest robberies of the century, Hatton Garden the Heist follows the convict recruiting a team of veteran British criminals all eager for one final chance at glory.
From the wocka-wocka retro-funk score to the glitchy Guy Ritchie-lite jump cuts, split screens and wipe edits, to the smattering of rhyming slang, this film doesn't have an original idea in its entire running time.
Uniformly likeable leads can't save plotlines heading nowhere, leaving it a film with its fun moments but more frustrating ones, and too little detail to be anything other than forgettable.
All the time there's no sense of jeopardy or drama, so you don't really care what happens either way. Stir in the polystyrene characters, as hollow as they are disposable, and it only serves to exacerbate the feeling that you're watching a bad film.
While the actual event must have been heart-stoppingly tense, the film is without suspense, and is cack-handed and mundane, with a paint-by-numbers voiceover from Matthew Goode.
There is a hint of old Ealing comedies in Ronnie Thompson's likeable if very undercharged telling of the story of the 2015 Hatton Garden jewellery/safety deposit box heist.
It's shamelessly derivative, unapologetically old-fashioned, defiantly corny, but it still tells a remarkable true story with a certain swagger and naive charm.
